Oh where to begin.... let's start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start). It didn't get off to the best start, but I've had worse beginnings before, so I was still mostly optimistic about how the day would turn out.
Kyra was extremely mischievous this morning, climbing on our bar height kitchen chairs, rummaging through the diaper bag, and just blatantly ignoring her mother every time I warned her against touching certain household items that are "off limits". I had to be the judge, jury and executioner several times issuing a couple of spankings over the course of our morning. Kyra of course was very disapproving of my correction and had a serious melt down around 10:00. She was crying and throwing herself all over the place. After a near miss with her head and the coffee table I decided to put her in her crib to calm down. (I can't put her in her big girl bed for this sort of thing because, well, she can get out of it.) After about 20 minutes of off and on crying she seemed to be mostly calm, so I trekked upstairs to rescue her. As I opened the door, my eyes were immediately drawn to the center of the bedroom where her pants lay wadded up next to, of all things, her diaper. Yes, she had once again successfully escaped from the bottom half of her attire. This time, however, everything remained dry. (Insert huge sigh of relief here.) I diapered and dressed her and decided that she was way to feisty for us to stay home today, so I packed the girls in the car and off we went.
I decided to run some errands I had been putting off to at least make the most of our outing. I went to the post office to mail a birthday gift (I know Lindsay, it's WAY late, but hey at least its on its way!) and Kyra immediately took off as soon as we made it through the door. I scooped her up and returned to the line where Kylie was peacefully holding my place. Kyra cried loudly as she wriggled with all her might to escape my hold on her. As I quickly observed that everyone in the post office was staring at me and my crazy daughter it hit me that I was THAT parent. You know, the one that appears to have no control over their child in a public place. Yeah.... I suddenly felt an extreme guilt over every time I've judged a stranger whose child was making a scene. Thankfully the line moved quicker than lightning as customers hastily completed their transactions so as to escape the hysteria. Hmmm... some good may have come from this chaos after all.
The post office now behind us we made our way into the mall. I got what I needed in record time and allowed Kyra to play for a bit at the indoor playground before we had lunch at the food court. Kyra was extremely delightful as I watched her play and even lunch wasn't too crazy, especially considering I allowed her to eat at the table instead of in a high chair or in her stroller. Our day was turning around. And I just knew that it would only get better once we got home and Kyra went down for her nap.
But Kyra didn't wait for home to start her nap. She fell asleep in the car just about 10 minutes before we arrived back at the house. For those of you who don't have children you may think "oh, that's great that she fell asleep in the car", but anyone who has children will tell you that a 10 minute car nap is one of the quickest ways to wreck your entire day.
As soon as we pulled into the garage I hopped out and did my best to quickly scoop Kyra up out of her car seat and get her into her crib before she woke up. But alas, I failed. She awoke as soon as I started up the stairs. Still, I dropped her in her crib and ran out the door, praying the entire time that she would fall right back to sleep.
I didn't hear anything for a few minutes, so I figured it was safe to clean my kitchen floor. I moved everything out of the kitchen that wasn't nailed down and went for the broom. No sooner had I made the first swipe across the floor when I heard it.... hysterical crying. Not just the kind of crying that indicates "I can't fall back asleep" but the kind that says "my head is stuck between the rungs of the crib" or "my bear is trapped in the teapot". So I dropped the broom and ran.
I opened the door to find Kyra terrified in the front right corner of her crib crying and dancing and pointing as if there were a snake in her crib with her. I immediately grabbed her and put her on my hip, at the last minute noticing that she was again naked from the waist down. Crap. Literally. A good sized log right in the middle of her crib. And I had put her on my hip. Awesome. I fling her up onto the changing table to discover it was not only on her bottom but on her feet as well. And she is still crying uncontrollably. Despite my endless chants of "It's okay honey, it's only pooh pooh." I begin wiping her down with baby wipes and after going through about a dozen or so I decide I'm better off giving her a bath. She finally calms down after I dump her entire bag of bath toys into the tub and all traces of the scary brown log are gone. I clean up the rest of the mess, including myself and we go down stairs to watch a movie. The drama is over. At least in this case.
Apparently this morning's incident with the diaper on the floor was a warning. And apparently I did not take heed. So in the future, I'll proceed with caution when I find a half naked Kyra in her room. But also in the future, I'll have a video monitor in her room, so I can see what is plaguing her before I run in and hastily put her on my hip.
Oh, and for your viewing pleasure.....
(As a side note, I am slightly suspicious that Jim somehow put Kyra up to this as tonight was his turn to give her a bath. Which he now no longer has to do since I have already bathed her.)