Tuesday, January 26, 2010

HELP! I Just. Can't. Take it. Anymore.

I know its been a while. And I have a lot of good excuses for not blogging, but in reality, it all boils down to the fact that I just haven't felt like it.

Until now.

I'm so fired up, ticked off, freaking out, at the end of my rope, that I couldn't stop myself from running to the computer and getting on here to vent all the frustration. So, I'm sorry my first post in a while isn't based on something cute or happy, but I need to get this off my chest and out into cyber space before I explode into a million pieces all over my house (because I'll end up having to clean it up).

It's Kyra.

Yes, my cute little 3 year old daughter is the one who has me so upset I can't even think straight.

She won't stop peeing in her pants. And I've been really struggling lately with feeling that she is doing it to spite me. I don't let her have a piece of candy.... she pees in her pants. I take away a toy because she won't share... she pees in her pants. I spank her for disobeying me.... she pees in her pants. I don't know what to do anymore.

I've tried forcing her to sit on the potty when it's been hours since she's gone last, but most of the time she fights me the whole way. Even if she does actually go, she sits there yelling and crying "I don't have to go pee pee!" as she's going in the toilet. Other times she holds it and pees in her pants 5 minutes after she gets up off the potty.

I've tried asking her every 10 minutes all day long, "Kyra, do you need to go potty?". To which she replies, "No. I can't go potty." 99.9% of the time. And lately within a couple minutes of me asking her and her saying she doesn't need to go, she goes. In her pants.

I've been told you aren't supposed to punish a child for potty accidents. So I've been doing the best that I can to stay calm and tell her, "It's okay. Next time you really need to tell mommy that you need to go potty so we don't wet our panties." But I am having trouble keeping my cool any longer. The instant I feel or see the pee in her pants I feel my blood start to boil. I have to fight the urge to throw her over my knees and spank her soaking wet bottom. But it just keeps getting worse.

Allow me to paint you a picture of what I've been dealing with. In the last 10 days she has peed in her pants an average of 4 times per day, but often as many as 6 times. At the end of each day I have a pile of pee soaked panties, pants and sometimes shirts and socks on the floor of my laundry room. I have to laundry every single day now. Kyra peed in her pants at the American Eagle store at the mall after I took her to the bathroom twice right beforehand and she insisted she couldn't go. This morning as I was meeting with a Mary Kay rep, Kyra climbed up on my lap and peed all over me. And just a few moments ago during her "quiet time" Kyra peed in her pants, so I had her sit on the potty where she protested that she didn't need to go pee pee anymore and she wanted to take a nap. I allowed her back into her room after only a couple minutes on the potty and when I went to check on her 5 minutes later, she had soaked the new panties and pants I had just put on her and even got a good bit on her sheets.

I stripped her down, put her in a diaper, and ran to my computer. I'm seriously at my wit's end. I need prayer. I need help. I need someone who has been down this road before to tell me what's going on here and how to fix it. Because this is sucking the life out of me. It's consuming my time, my energy, my sanity and I hate it. But I love Kyra. SO much. And I need to figure this thing out ASAP so I don't end up doing something in a moment of frustration that I'll regret for a lifetime.

The crazy thing is she has these moments during the day where she'll take herself to the bathroom, lock the door and go pee in the potty all by herself. Granted, she ends up unrolling 1/4 the roll of toilet paper onto the floor, but still. She knows what she's doing. She CAN use the potty when she wants to. Which is I think what makes the pants peeing all the more frustrating.

Anyway.... not the astounding post I'm sure you were hoping for, but that's where I'm at. So...... now "quiet time" is over and I've got to go scrounge up a clean pair of underwear for Kyra to put on. So she can pee in it later. Awesome.