When I was pregnant the first time, Jim and I had opted to not find out the baby's gender so as to be surprised in the delivery room. After thirty-something hours of labor I was beyond exhausted when the doctor made the big announcement that we had a baby girl. In the moment, I was overwhelmed and more than anything thankful that our baby had finally arrived and that she was healthy, but my brain couldn't process much beyond that. As a new mom it took me weeks, even months, to fully process the fact that we had a baby and what all came along with that. Lately though, I have begun to think beyond the realm of just having a baby and more about what it means that we have girls.
I naturally gravitate to the fact that we will have to pay for a couple of weddings one day, but then I think about how much fun it will be to help plan for them. But before I dwell on that for too long, I pull myself back on the timeline and begin to think about simpler things like slumber parties with a dozen giddy little friends. I think about dance classes and gymnastics. I think about mother-daughter brunches at church. About shopping trips and manicures. I think about heart to heart talks, cooking and baking together, cheerleading, hair bows, crushes, diaries, and babysitting gigs. In my head I've told myself how to react to first kisses and broken hearts. I hope to have the right things to say when there is a fight with a best friend. I hope to share wisdom gained from my own experiences and I pray for the strength to be able to let them learn some lessons the hard way. I desire to raise them to be strong women of God, to be trustworthy friends and loving wives.
And though I would love to have a boy some day, I thank God that I have my girls. There is so much to look forward to with them, including the unexpected. I greatly look forward to seeing my girls experience the things I mentioned, but I'm in no rush to get them there. Time goes by fast enough as it is and so I am treasuring each day. Even if it doesn't present a milestone in the "book of things I anticipate with my daughters", every day shows me something new about my girls. And I love learning who they are and seeing little glimpses of who they will one day be.