Things That Make Me Say, "Ew"

I'm a mom.

I clean snotty noses, change diaper blowouts, and handle getting puked on with poise. I kill spiders that sneak into my house, remove dried worms that have baked on the driveway, and dispose of flies that have fallen victim to the cunning stalking skills of my Schnoodle. The sight of blood doesn't make me queasy. My stomach stays perfectly fine when I see food dried on the faces of my children. I've scrubbed poop out of underwear and off bedroom walls with no more than a scrunched nose. But ask me to stick my nose in a milk carton after it's turned and you're guaranteed to see me gag.

There aren't a lot of things that truly gross me out, but milk, and some milk products, is definitely one of them. If the gallon in the fridge is approaching its expiration date, I make my husband smell it first. If the kids sippy cups of milk end up sitting on the table for an hour after lunch, I have to dump them out just because the thought of them possibly having gone bad gives me the chills.

I recently discovered one of the kid's milk cups had been left in our (hot-ish) van overnight. I brought it inside and opened it in the sink to clean it. As soon as I saw the warm curdled milk stuck to the edges of the cup I began to gag. I did my best to clean it whilst holding my breath and trying to avoid actually looking at it, but despite my best efforts, I continued to gag as I cleaned it out. Even after washing it by hand AND running it through the dishwasher, I still felt like I could smell the spoiled milk in the cup.

Other milk products that turn my stomach if they go bad or even get too close to their expiration date include sour cream, yogurt, ricotta cheese, and cottage cheese.

Next on my list would have to be eggs. Not all eggs, just ones that aren't cooked properly. If I were to order eggs "over easy" at a restaurant and they were still raw around the yolk, I'd definitely gag. Which causes a dilemma for me every time I order breakfast out. I'd like to order my eggs scrambled when I'm dining out because there is less chance of undercooking them, however, a lot of places make their scrambled eggs from a powdered box mix these days, which I also don't prefer. Hence the dilemma.

Also, two nights ago my husband was making fried eggs for sandwiches and one of the eggs he opened had blood in it. I was semi-freaking out as I asked him to dump it out and start over. Blood in an egg just can't be good, right?

Finally, the last major item on my list is closely related to the egg. In fact it's raw chicken. I love eating cooked chicken. And I cook chicken a lot, but handling it when raw really messes with my head. I get so grossed out at the thought of the possibility of salmonella bacteria infecting my kitchen as I prepare the meat. I wash my hands at LEAST a dozen times during the process and in the winter all it takes is one night of making a chicken dish to completely dry my hands out to the point of cracking. I have lysol or clorox wipes conveniently under my sink and whip them out to wipe down every vertical surface and my sink after the food prep is done. I even change out my kitchen hand towels afterwards too, just in case I hadn't killed all the bacteria when I washed my hands and it got onto the towels when I dried them. Crazy, I know, but it just grosses me out that much!

Years ago, I was having lunch at a restaurant where I had ordered a chicken sandwich. When I bit into the sandwich, the inside of the chicken was STILL RAW. That experience made me so crazy I didn't eat at that restaurant (including any of it's other chain locations) for about 5 years.

So if you ever invite me over for dinner, you can serve me your great grandmother's spinach casserole and I'll be fine, but add a a glass of warm milk or undercooked chicken on the side and be prepared for the repercussions!